


Still

by jiminsstarss



Category: MDZS, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Canon Compliant, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, M/M, MDZS - Freeform, Mo Dao Zu Shi - Freeform, Sexual Tension, bottom xue yang that does not really bottom, is xiao xingchen really innocent?, xiao xingchen puts and end to xue yang's flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25243516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiminsstarss/pseuds/jiminsstarss
Summary: When in the darkness of the night Xue Yang steps over the line, Xiao Xingchen shows him that every shameless action has consequences -and that he's not as submissive as he seems to be.
Relationships: Xiǎo Xīngchén/Xuē Yáng | Xuē Chéngměi
Comments: 7
Kudos: 61





	Still

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know what the hell this is supposed to be, but I enjoyed writing it so yeah. XueXiao eventually took over me too. see you at the end <3

It was time to go back inside, but that was the last thing he wanted.  
It made no difference to sit on the harsh soil, but at least he could feel the light breeze sting his cheeks. It was the time of the night he treasured the most. He couldn’t see the far, sparkling stars deep in the darkish blue sky, but the air was cold and refreshing on his skin. Everything was silent, he could only hear the rustle of the leaves shaken by the wind and a few bleak sounds of nocturnal animals.  
But that was enough.  
He didn’t want to go back, to lie down and imagine the roof upon them, to let his mind take over his thoughts and lead him on the gloomy path he went through every night. If he had gone to sleep, the nightmare would have come back, grasped him, forced him to hear the last few words that had scarred his heart forever.  
_Don’t ever try to find me again._  
He sighed, the fingers of one hand gently playing with the small object he was holding in the other.  
He didn’t want to get lost again in that darkness. He smiled.  
_I should be used to darkness, by now. Yet it still moves me to fall asleep and have those nightmares_.  
He used to dream about _him_. Finding him dead. Finding him slaughtered.  
But now there were other two people he dreamed about. And he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand to let that fear take control. He didn’t want to dream about that new life ending in blood and death. It was the last thing he had by now. And even if that feeling of emptiness still haunted him, even if the nostalgia for _him_ kept stinging his heart, the void now was a little less scary. A little less annihilating.  
He wasn’t alone, now. He had them. He had _them_. He couldn’t lose them as he had lost him. The thought always made him shiver in fear.  
He had received another opportunity. The chance to have a different life, with different people -not the person he had always mistakenly been sure he would spend his life with. But that didn’t make their company and their affection less endearing. Less worthy. He had another chance. He wasn’t going to miss out on it. Not again.  
“Daozhang, why aren’t you sleeping?”  
He couldn’t avoid smiling at that teasing, sweet voice. It filled his heart with tenderness. He sighed and waited for him to come closer, to step out of the shadows. His presence was so strong he could feel it everywhere. It was just magnetic. Maybe it was meant to be like that. Maybe they were connected. Maybe it was him, it had always been him, instead of… _him_.  
He hid the little thing in his hand, clenching his fist. The sound of his steps finally stopped, his scent surrounding him in a comforting bubble. The wind shook his clothes, a piece of the rough fabric almost touched his arm, making him smile softly.  
“Why are you up? Do you like staying out at night?”  
“Sit with me.”  
A little giggle made his heart flutter with joy. He smiled, again, and shook his head when, with his senses, he perceived him slowly sitting down, a little too close.  
But it was night and they were alone and his stranger always tried to be as close as he could. He reminded him of a stray puppy longing for skin to skin contact. And he didn’t mind. Not at all.  
Their arms were almost touching. The stranger was a little less tall than him, but that was all he had grasped about his appearance during all those months. He was always so close, but he never let him _touch him_. Nor his hands, nor his chest, nor his face. It was the stranger who decided how and when a physical contact would be allowed.  
And when it happened, when in the pitch-black nights he crawled to his daozhang’s bed and with his trembling breath laid next to him, their arms touching, their backs pressing one against the other, Xiao Xingchen had learnt he had to stay still, or he would run away. And he would become sad and angry and scared, like a stray puppy who desperately longed for love and affection but was too scared to accept the very same feelings he desperately wanted.  
Xiao Xingchen had learnt to stay still. Even when in those nights _he_ turned around and hugged him from behind, his forehead pressing on his shoulder, his heart pounding against his shoulders, his hand grabbing his waist, he just stayed _still_. He didn’t want to make him run away. He didn’t want that affection, that warmth, that light to go away. He couldn’t stand losing them all over again. He couldn’t lose his stranger too.  
Even when in one of the darkest nights the nightmares had made him wake up with a scream entangled in his throat, with his chest heaving and his heart racing, he had stayed still while those arms hugged him, holding him tight. While his stranger slowly pressed a gentle peck on his neck, the darkness had lost that terrifying gloominess and the nightmares, the blood, the wounds, the eyes had faded away. The only thing that had stayed were those lips gently pressing on his neck, right where the blood pumped in his veins. He had never felt so vulnerable. But while gasping for air, his head spinning, his heart beating so fast he couldn’t even stand it, those lips had stayed still, while the strangers’ hand moved and pressed on his skin above his heart. The way he had tightened the hold on his chest was almost painful, as if his stranger wanted to break through the skin, the muscles, the ribcage, as if he wanted to grasp his heart and hold it tight, but Xiao Xingchen couldn’t rationalize any of that.  
He had just let himself go, between his arms, for the first time showing his weakness while trails of blood stung his cheeks. He had curled up between his arms and pressed his head on his chest and in that web of black and white and hearts and feelings he had allowed the stranger to lull him for what had felt like eternity. He had just sighed and trembled and let his stranger gently kiss his neck again and again. His lips had always been stiff, never moulding to his skin, but that soft, warm touch had shattered the last remaining traces of judgement in his mind. It had just destroyed him to the point that, when his stranger had moved away to take a breath, he had quickly, insanely turned his head and aggressively pressed his lips on his soft, astonished mouth.  
The stranger had frozen, but the fire poisoning Xiao Xingchen’s veins was too vivid for him to let that brief, sinful moment fade away. The stranger had whimpered, grabbed his chest, his hair flowing on his bare skin exposed after all those sudden movements. He had let him take control, for the first time ever giving up his aggressiveness, sighing while his daozhang’s hand abruptly grabbed his neck and forced him to lie back.  
They had rolled over, the stranger still under his body, his shaking hands still on his hips, pressing on his skin until it was scarred by ten red marks. He had let those brutal lips mark his own with bites, astonished, confused, immersed in that bubble of arousal and panic while the blood rushed in his veins, while his body reacted to that touch in an uncontrollable way. Xiao Xingchen had made him a puppet, lying under him, waiting for his hands to go down, his lips to mark his skin, his body to punish him for all the times he had made him the target of his malicious jokes.  
“Daozhang” that word had escaped his lips in a deep moan. One single word had revealed the desire, the aching pain he felt while longing for more and more and _more_ , while his hips shyly tried to meet his saviour’s, his hands shaking with fear. Because in all of that, the stranger had been his _puppet_. His victim. His lips had just followed his lead, letting his daozhang bite and tease and play with his skin. His body had moulded into his, his hands had stayed still on his hips without attempting at anything else. He was so innocent, so scared yet so eager for more. So pure.  
Xiao Xingchen was panting, trying to restrain the wave of arousal that had made him lose control. He gently pressed his lips on that sweet, pure mouth, trying to fix in his mind the memory of that touch, of that warmth, of that shaking lips that had corrupted him to the core.  
“I’m sorry” he whispered, and he couldn’t see it but rage burnt in Xue Yang’s eyes, rage at being rejected like that while all that he wanted was more -more pain, more of that delicious suffering, more of that bitter pleasure.  
“Don’t” and Xue Yang’s lips were on his own, now, and he was sitting on him now. Xiao Xingchen’s wrists had been violently grabbed by those desperate hands, his weight pressing on his waist, that sinful touch tempting him to let go of all that innocence he was forcing on himself.  
“Please daozhang” his kisses were wild, his skin was being marked with brown, purple marks and red bites but he couldn’t let go, even if the pain was unbearable. His whole body was burning and screaming and he just longed for that sweet temptation to corrupt his soul and body with that devastating pleasure.  
Xiao Xingchen gasped for air when the stranger bit his nipple, while arousal shook every cell of his body, eventually rebelling to his hold and pushing him back to the floor, back to where he belonged -under his body. Under his control.  
“I said I’m sorry” he whispered. He stayed still when his stranger’s lips tried to gently awake something in his chest flooded with regret and grief and pain and desire. But he stayed still, while the last distressed, gentle kiss claimed him back to that infernal desire, he stayed still panting and shivering and wishing for more. For those lips to mark him again.  
That had never happened again.  
It had taken the stranger two weeks to crawl back into his bed and lie next to him. To Xiao Xingchen it was a sweet, secret joy to be finally hugged by those craving arms that had tried to tempt him again, touching his clothes, touching his skin, making him shiver and hiss and grab his wrist as that touch had reached too far. But nothing had ever happened, because he had always put the stranger in place and, eventually, he had given up. He had just began hugging him as tight as he could, breathing against his neck, pressing his cheek on his shoulder and gently drawing meaningless lines on the white fabric covering his hip.  
Nothing more had ever happened, but Xiao Xingchen always pretended to be asleep when his stranger gently, shyly pressed his soft lips on his mouth while the light of sunrise stained the empty room of golden rays.  
“Why aren’t you answering to me?” the pouty voice took him back to the present, to the chillness of the night and the calm broken by his attempts at playing with his white sleeves.  
“Sometimes there no cause.”  
“What are you holding in your hand?”  
Xiao Xingchen remained still while he got closer, while his long hair stroked his neck, while his hand reached for the thing he was hiding from his eyes. Xiao Xingchen didn’t let him open his fist, but even when it became clear he wouldn’t let go of his little secret Xue Yang’s fingers kept drawing circles on his skin. Xiao Xingchen felt his other hand press on his inner thigh, while his scent engulfed him in a trap of sweet temptation and his lips almost touched his mouth. Xiao Xingchen remained still, while his stranger’s mouth lingered on his own, the soft, wet skin pressing lightly on his lips, his breath on his cheek, his fingers massaging him with alluring insecurity.  
“You should tell me, I would stop tormenting you” that whisper made him smile fondly.  
Xue Yang’s giggling was brutally interrupted by Xiao Xingcheng’s bite, by his hand grabbing his neck and tracing a hot line on his skin until his fingers met the black fabric under his collarbone. Xue Yang fell in the trap in less a second, moaning at the brutal lips and teeth marking his pale skin, breathing heavily while his daozhang took revenge by pinching his nipple through the clothes.  
Xue Yang found himself with a very concerning problem under Xiao Xingchen’s waist, while his daozhang abruptly pushed his hips against his. The stranger whimpered and flinched when he gently pressed his hand on a very sensible part of his body. Xue Yang’s eyes were wider than ever, his cheeks red with the rush of blood caused by that gentle and painful touch.  
“I’d stop testing my patience, if I were you. I can do much worse than this. Know your boundaries. I don’t mind you coming to me in the middle of the night, hugging me and finding relief in that. But do not try to tempt me, because I know how to do that better than you.”  
Then, with a fond smile, after a few seconds, his daozhang gently laid something between his lips. The tip of Xue Yang’s tongue touched his finger for a second, and then that finger pressed against his lower lip, gently tracing the bite marks he had left on his mouth. A trembling breath escaped Xue Yang’s lips while he realised, his eyes widening. It was a candy.  
Xue Yang shivered, while Xiao Xingchen pressed his mouth against his neck, kissing the veins where the blood furiously pumped by his overexcited heart was rushing faster than ever. He almost let a moan escape his lips when his daozhang’s lips left a wet, burning kiss on his skin, while every inch of his body tingled with a weird, unknown feeling he couldn’t even describe. He had never felt like that. Never in his whole life. He only felt that brutal and overwhelming warmth when his daozhang was with him, but it was such an unknown feeling he didn’t even know how it was called.  
“Understood?”  
“Y-yes” Xue Yang whispered, sucking on the sweet candy in his mouth and closing his eyes. For a second, he really let himself go, while those lips reached his mouth. He opened his eyes again and glared at the white bandage, at that glowing face, grinning. “Yes, daozhang.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So well, I truly hope you enjoyed reading this very short fic and that the end didn't disappoint you -but I'm not ready to write proper sex scenes yet. Also because I started shipping them yesterday and I'm really conflicted, I love them but I feel guilty about it because of the toxicity of their relationship. anyway. yeah.  
> Here, we have a slightly less innocent Xiao Xingchen, who shows the signs of bearing with an untamed Xue Yang that is actually not that untamed after all. I liked the idea that, even if he seems so confident and daring, when it comes to feelings and sexual circumstances we see his true self: an innocent, younger Xue Yang that is needy and submissive to his daozhang. A daozhang that knows very well what he is doing and how to handle him ;)  
> Since Xue Yang was also supposed to be a vampire, I played with the kissing-his-neck-and-feeling-the-rush-of-the-blood- thing. And the feeling Xue Yang mentions at the end is meant to be happiness; I wanted to highlight how, having been abused and abusing his whole life, Xue Yang has never been able to be happy. Not knowing what happiness feels like, he can't even describe or name it as well.  
> I think that's all. Thank you so much for reading, I hope I didn't disappoint you. Leave a comment and let me know what you think about it if you feel like it! It would make me very happy. Thank you <3


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